This Is Why Paediatrics Is Not My Thing..

Today is my first day at the neonatal unit. After the ward round, I went downstairs to the special care unit for neonates. The first time I went in, I found that the situation is very different. Instead of beds and large monitors we usually see in ICU for adults, things are much more . . .  tiny here. I can see lots of cubicles here and there, with little monitors besides them. There are few women, sitting at the chair, looking sadly at the cubicles which contained their precious little ones. 

I headed to the centre of the room, where the nurses put all the medical charts of the patients here. My eyes caught the file that I'm looking for, a very interesting case I would say. A baby with Patau Syndrome, quite a rare disease, a very depressing one. Babies with Patau Syndrome do not only have congenital cardiac defect, cleft palate, polydactyly (got more than five fingers on one hand) and several other physical disabilities, but they also suffer from mental retardation and the life expectancy is also shorter.  From discussion with one of the doctors there, I came to know a more heart-breaking fact, that the baby is actually an IVF baby, which means the parents are very keen to have him. I decided to just watch them from far because it is too painful to even trying to put myself in their shoes. I just pray may Allah keep them strong.

Not willing to stay long in that area, I followed a doctor to see him do cannulation (putting a line to the vein for drug/fluid induction) to a baby. Since that the vein is very small, it was very hard for him to do it. They tried a few times but still couldn't get it right. 

Part of me was screaming, "Leave the baby alone!"

Another part was trying to rationalize things, "That's for his own good."

The baby was traumatize i guess since he pulled his leg away once my fingers set on it. Poor little thing! T_T

After wondering around, watching and observing each baby, I finally decided to leave. Emotionally challenged, emotionally drained. That's why being a paediatrician has never cross my mind. 

*sigh* 

Got to be emotionally strong tomorrow. A long day awaits. 

Please get better little ones. I can't stand watching more and more of you here.