Kerana Amanah Itu yang Tergalas Di Bahu..

Bismillahirrahmanirahim...

Ya Allah, jadikanlah kecintaan kami kepada ilmu sedalam lautan-Mu yang paling dalam. 

Berkatilah kami dengan ilmu yang bermanfaat untuk dunia dan akhirat kami, dan jauhkanlah kami daripada ilmu yang membawa kami lebih jauh daripada-Mu.

Jauhilah kami dari sifat malas, dan berikanlah kami kekuatan untuk menempuhi cabaran dalam mencari ilmu-Mu ya Allah.

Ya Allah, kami datang ke sini kerana-Mu Ya Allah.

Segala kesusahan, segala kesulitan ini hanya kerana-Mu, 

Kau terimalah usaha kami, dan berkatilah hidup kami dengannya.

Amin ya rabb.

Mengapa engkau belajar?

"Kamu belajar adalah untuk memberi khidmat kepada seluruh ummat.

Dan kamu belajar untuk berkhidmat untuk Islam."

Dear myself, 

Go and seek knowledge as much as you can. Only with knowledge you will learn bout Him better, and you learn to serve Him better. Seek for knowledge, and use it well to be closer to Him. Its ok to struggle a bit on the way. That's a normal process. As long as you are willing to strive hard and have a pure intention for Him, He will always be there for assisstance. Have faith.

And don't forget to serve the ummah. You have great responsibilities there. There must be good reasons why Allah put you in this career. And this is one of the great reasons. He's giving you good firm ground, a chance, an opportunity to thank Him, by serving the ummah. And may He purify your heart, and may you be a better servant to Him, and only Him.

Love,

Me

Jodoh..

Dulu masa tingkatan-tingkatan dulu, bila tengok muka kawan-kawan, selalu terfikir, apa perasaan eh bila tengok muka-muka ni dah kahwin? Masa tu tak boleh bayang, maklumlah, tak matang lagi.

Sekarang persoalan tu dah terjawab. 

Perasaan? Hmm.. Macam-macam. Tapi bukan nak komen pasal tu.

Nak cakap pasal jodoh.

"Eh, A kawen dengan orang lain la. Bukan dengan B."

"Eh, C dengan D la. Tak tahu plak diorang together."

Ada kawan tanya, kenapa Allah temukan kita dengan seseorang tu kalau dah dia bukan jodoh kita?

Sebab ada benda yang Allah nak ajar kita dari situ. 

Jawapan yang pendek, ringkas, tapi bermakna.

Bab jodoh memang antara perkara yang banyak jadi tanda tanya kita.

Kenapa itu, kenapa ini. 

Tapi percaya la.

Takdenya Allah buat sesuatu perkara sia-sia.

Kalau niat kita memang kerana Dia, 

InsyaAllah pertolongan tu datang bila-bila.

Tadi terbaca Hilal Asyraf punya post.

"Kahwin ni kerana Allah,

Bukan kerana orang yang kita suka.

Boleh jadi Allah tak bagi orang yang kita suka.

Sebabnya Dia nak bagi orang yang Dia suka."

Jadi yakin la. 

Biar Dia tak bagi apa yang kita mahu.

Sebab Dia lebih tahu apa yang kita perlu.

My first hero (and will always be)

I was chattering with my friend, Fiona, exchanging stories of our childhood, and giggling together, how funny it was, back almost 20 years ago (how time flies!) and how protective our dads were.  :)

Then suddenly she said,

"You know, I'm certain, everything they did were for our own good. That's for sure."
"Yup, I know." 

"When your father is old and isn't strong anymore like mine, when he unable to talk and express things like he used to be, you will miss those moments. I guarantee, you will."

I looked at her. There was sadness in her eyes.

I know what she meant. Well, I already miss him. :(

When the time comes, maybe I'm the one not letting go. :(

This Is Why Paediatrics Is Not My Thing..

Today is my first day at the neonatal unit. After the ward round, I went downstairs to the special care unit for neonates. The first time I went in, I found that the situation is very different. Instead of beds and large monitors we usually see in ICU for adults, things are much more . . .  tiny here. I can see lots of cubicles here and there, with little monitors besides them. There are few women, sitting at the chair, looking sadly at the cubicles which contained their precious little ones. 

I headed to the centre of the room, where the nurses put all the medical charts of the patients here. My eyes caught the file that I'm looking for, a very interesting case I would say. A baby with Patau Syndrome, quite a rare disease, a very depressing one. Babies with Patau Syndrome do not only have congenital cardiac defect, cleft palate, polydactyly (got more than five fingers on one hand) and several other physical disabilities, but they also suffer from mental retardation and the life expectancy is also shorter.  From discussion with one of the doctors there, I came to know a more heart-breaking fact, that the baby is actually an IVF baby, which means the parents are very keen to have him. I decided to just watch them from far because it is too painful to even trying to put myself in their shoes. I just pray may Allah keep them strong.

Not willing to stay long in that area, I followed a doctor to see him do cannulation (putting a line to the vein for drug/fluid induction) to a baby. Since that the vein is very small, it was very hard for him to do it. They tried a few times but still couldn't get it right. 

Part of me was screaming, "Leave the baby alone!"

Another part was trying to rationalize things, "That's for his own good."

The baby was traumatize i guess since he pulled his leg away once my fingers set on it. Poor little thing! T_T

After wondering around, watching and observing each baby, I finally decided to leave. Emotionally challenged, emotionally drained. That's why being a paediatrician has never cross my mind. 

*sigh* 

Got to be emotionally strong tomorrow. A long day awaits. 

Please get better little ones. I can't stand watching more and more of you here.

Cause after all those wings will take you up so high..

Chase your dreams

And remember me, sweet bravery

Cause after all those wings will take you up so high...

So bid the forest floor good-bye as you race the wind and

Take to the sky...

Believe in yourself.

And keep pushing to the limit.

Its not gonna be easy, 

But sure its gonna be worth it.

:)