DIstance......

They said distance makes heart grows fonder.

It's true. T_T

May Allah bless and protect my love ones back home.

It's just a few months left before we meet again.

Stay strong. Just few months more to go.

OK, need to focus now.

Exam is coming.

:)

Bila dengar lagu ni, teringat kata-kata Yasmin Mogahed. 

This world is not perfectly good, and it's not perfectly bad either. :)

Indeed, my routine is waaaaaaayy busier than few years back. Boleh kata exam final every month.

But Alhamdulillah, with this 'test', I learn to appreciate time better, and cherish every single opportunity I have to create memorable moments with loved ones. :)

FINAL YEAR

Tough but we'll make it through, InsyaAllah. :)

#Reflection2DaysPriorFirstLongCase

'Kehandalan' Geografi Anak-anak Dr Fauzi

*random post*

Situasi 1

Ati: Ummi, Ipoh tu kat mana?

Ummi: Haa, teka kat mana.

Ati: Penang kan?

Ummi: (-_-')

Situasi 2

Ayah: Hampa ni, takkan tu pun taktau. Ibu negeri Penang apa?

Ati: Seberang Jaya kan?

Huda: Hahaha! Salaaah!! Bukit Mertajam laa~

Ayah: *facepalm*

Situasi 3

Syaima: Spain kalah teruk dengan Holland.

Sakinah: Laa, Spain kalah dua kali la?

Syaima: *puzzled* Spain kalah dengan sapa lagi?

Sakinah: Netherlands.

Situasi 4

Ayah: Ingat dak jalan nak pi SMKA?

Kakak, Huda: Tak.

Ayah: Berapa puluh taun dah sekolah situ, berapa puluh kali dah hampa lalu jalan sama. -_-

Situasi 5

Ayah: Kat mana dah la ni?

Huda: Tak tau la, jalan dia banyak tiang lampu.

Ayah: -_- Jalan tu ja kot ada tiang lampu.

Huda, Ati and me couldn't be saved anymore. :p

The rest are still manageable.

Or may be not~ :p

Prihatin

Pagi itu, semua rumah di sekitar Wilton Court menerima satu surat bertulisan tangan. Surat yang cukup mengharukan.

Isi kandungannya jelas menggambarkan keprihatinan seorang jiran kepada jiran tetangganya yang lain. Walaupun kami berlainan bangsa dan agama, malah juga berlainan kewarganegaraan, namun itu semua tidak menghalangnya daripada melakukan perkara yang dirasakan perlu untuk kepentingan jiran tetangga yang lain. MasyaAllah, mulia sungguh hati jiran yang seorang ini. :')

Masih ku ingat, satu lagi insiden yang cukup mengharukan. Petang itu, angin bertiup kencang dan hujan turun dengan begitu lebat sekali. Tidak seperti musim sejuk di tempat lain yang dilitupi dengan salji yang memutih, musim sejuk di Ireland selalunya disambut dengan hujan lebat yang sejuknya ibarat air ais dan angin yang kencang. Selepas menyertai demonstrasi 'Free Palestine' di 'town', kami berlari mengejar bas 208 untuk pulang ke rumah. Duit yang aku ada cukup-cukup untuk membayar tambang bas. Selepas menyerahkannya kepada pemandu, baru ku sedari rakan di sebelah tidak punya wang yang cukup untuk membayar tambang. 

"Sir, I'm sorry. I think I'm not going to take the bus. My friend here, she doesn't have enough money to pay. So I think I'm gonna walk home with her."

"In weather like this?! No way. Come in both of you. Just pay for one. I'm gonna close my eyes on this."

Die tersenyum sambil mengenyitkan mata. Tambang bas seorang untuk dua kepala. Alhamdulillah. :)

Dua insiden yang berbeza tetapi cukup menggambarkan keprihatinan mereka. Mereka bukan hanya berfikir untuk orang lain, tetapi juga bertindak untuk kepentingan orang lain, bukan kepentingan diri semata. 

Hmm, bagaimana dengan masyarakat kita? Bukankah itu yang Islam ajarkan kepada umatnya?

I couldn't help to think that sometimes our morale of thinking are way behind than what Islam had thought us.

It's time to change.

Kita Memang Layak Diuji..

Kadang bila diuji,

Kita rasa macam ujian kitalah yang paling berat. 

Ujian kitalah yang paling dahsyat. 

Ujian kitalah paling besar dalam dunia. 

Kadang bila diuji, 

Cepat kita merasa tak terdaya. 

Cepat kita merasa putus asa. 

Sampai kadang kita terlupa betapa besar dan luasnya rahmat-Nya.

Kadang tanpa sedar kita bertanya, 

Kenapa Allah uji aku begini? 

Kita rasa kita dah buat semua yang Allah suruh. 

Kita tinggal semua yang Dia larang.

Tapi kenapa masih diuji begini?

Kita terlupa seketika..

Kita memang layak diuji. 

Sebab kita hamba.

Dan Dia Tuhan kita.

Dan kemudian mata kita terbuka. Baru nampak orang lain, yang dugaannya mungkin jauh lebih payah dari kita. Kuasa Allah, Dia nak tunjuk. Kalau pun ujian kita berat, ada lagi hamba-Nya yang memikul beban ujian yang jauh lebih berat. Kalaupun ujian kita besar, ada hamba-Nya yang menanggung ujian yang jauh lebih besar.

Ujian sebenarnya satu rahmat.

Sering kali membawa hati-hati yang jauh tersasar kembali ke jalan yang benar.

Bersabarlah dalam setiap ujian.

Kerana setiap yang terjadi pasti ada hikmahnya.

"Selalu kita dengar orang cakap, ujian tu ada hikmah. Kadang kita tertunggu-tunggu, apa hikmah di sebalik ujian yang kita dapat. Lama kita menunggu tapi tak jumpa-jumpa. Memang betul setiap ujian ada hikmahnya. Tapi dalam hidup kita, sedikit sahaja yang Allah biarkan kita bertemu dengan hikmahnya. Selebihnya kita akan ketahui di Mahsyar nanti. Waktu di mana setiap hikmah ujian dalam kehidupan kita terbuka. Waktu itu baru kita mengerti, apa hikmah bila kita diuji. Oleh itu anakku, bersabarlah dengan ujian. Sebab setiap satunya ada hikmah tersendiri."

-Ustaz Tuan Ibrahim Tuan Man-

. . .

That morning, my partner and I, we went to the psychiatry clinic to see the consultant. There, we are supposed to see and observe how the consultant manages the patient, the communication skills and so on. In the consultation room, I sat at one corner, opposite to the consultant, while my partner sat beside me. The patient, a middle-aged man, with brown curly hair, sat quietly at the other corner. He was casually dressed, and I can see that his hands trembled a bit. Hmm, could be side effects from medications.

He looked at me, a bit suspicious. May be he had never seen a Muslim lady before. It wasn't my first time having that kind of look anyway. I smiled at him, trying to be friendly, but to no reply. 

The consultation started by asking some simple questions like how's his mood, how's the Christmas and so on. From the consultation, I came to know that he had depression quite for a few years now. And now he was here, feeling more depressed than ever because of his son. When he was busy chattering with the consultant, my mind started to fly elsewhere. It's like day dreaming, and I knew staying up late last night had its toll on me now. Then suddenly I heard something verryy familiar.

"How can he believes in Quran more than he believes in Bible?"

It felt like I had a thunder in me. I felt as if I was shaken from my own chair.

"There's no one there could teach him the Quran. How could he do that to us? He couldn't, could he?"

And this time he looked at me. *krik krik krik*

Well, that's a bit awkward to be honest. I'm a Muslim, and now he was here complaining about his son learning the Quran? How am I supposed to react? The consultant was quick, drawing his attention from me. I was more focused this time, very focused actually, but there's nothing else interest me. After the consultation was over, we went back to the hospital.

"There's NO ONE there could teach him the Quran."

My head kept echoing what he said. My heart pounded heavily.

It's almost four years now since I first came to Ireland. What did I do to educate these not-yet-Muslims around me bout being a Muslim? And the Quran itself? T_T

*tepukdadatanyaiman*

New Journey

Tomorrow, the first day of school starts.

Its a new year.

Its a new term.

Its a new rotation.

New people to meet with.

New obstacles and challenges.

But of course with new determination! 

And new resolutions too. :)

Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, 

For all the good news and His blessings all these while.

May this year, we all become a better Muslims day by day.

Amin ya rabbal a'lamin. :)

A new journey to begin.

May Allah bless.

:)

Kerana Amanah Itu yang Tergalas Di Bahu..

Bismillahirrahmanirahim...

Ya Allah, jadikanlah kecintaan kami kepada ilmu sedalam lautan-Mu yang paling dalam. 

Berkatilah kami dengan ilmu yang bermanfaat untuk dunia dan akhirat kami, dan jauhkanlah kami daripada ilmu yang membawa kami lebih jauh daripada-Mu.

Jauhilah kami dari sifat malas, dan berikanlah kami kekuatan untuk menempuhi cabaran dalam mencari ilmu-Mu ya Allah.

Ya Allah, kami datang ke sini kerana-Mu Ya Allah.

Segala kesusahan, segala kesulitan ini hanya kerana-Mu, 

Kau terimalah usaha kami, dan berkatilah hidup kami dengannya.

Amin ya rabb.

Mengapa engkau belajar?

"Kamu belajar adalah untuk memberi khidmat kepada seluruh ummat.

Dan kamu belajar untuk berkhidmat untuk Islam."

Dear myself, 

Go and seek knowledge as much as you can. Only with knowledge you will learn bout Him better, and you learn to serve Him better. Seek for knowledge, and use it well to be closer to Him. Its ok to struggle a bit on the way. That's a normal process. As long as you are willing to strive hard and have a pure intention for Him, He will always be there for assisstance. Have faith.

And don't forget to serve the ummah. You have great responsibilities there. There must be good reasons why Allah put you in this career. And this is one of the great reasons. He's giving you good firm ground, a chance, an opportunity to thank Him, by serving the ummah. And may He purify your heart, and may you be a better servant to Him, and only Him.

Love,

Me

Jodoh..

Dulu masa tingkatan-tingkatan dulu, bila tengok muka kawan-kawan, selalu terfikir, apa perasaan eh bila tengok muka-muka ni dah kahwin? Masa tu tak boleh bayang, maklumlah, tak matang lagi.

Sekarang persoalan tu dah terjawab. 

Perasaan? Hmm.. Macam-macam. Tapi bukan nak komen pasal tu.

Nak cakap pasal jodoh.

"Eh, A kawen dengan orang lain la. Bukan dengan B."

"Eh, C dengan D la. Tak tahu plak diorang together."

Ada kawan tanya, kenapa Allah temukan kita dengan seseorang tu kalau dah dia bukan jodoh kita?

Sebab ada benda yang Allah nak ajar kita dari situ. 

Jawapan yang pendek, ringkas, tapi bermakna.

Bab jodoh memang antara perkara yang banyak jadi tanda tanya kita.

Kenapa itu, kenapa ini. 

Tapi percaya la.

Takdenya Allah buat sesuatu perkara sia-sia.

Kalau niat kita memang kerana Dia, 

InsyaAllah pertolongan tu datang bila-bila.

Tadi terbaca Hilal Asyraf punya post.

"Kahwin ni kerana Allah,

Bukan kerana orang yang kita suka.

Boleh jadi Allah tak bagi orang yang kita suka.

Sebabnya Dia nak bagi orang yang Dia suka."

Jadi yakin la. 

Biar Dia tak bagi apa yang kita mahu.

Sebab Dia lebih tahu apa yang kita perlu.

My first hero (and will always be)

I was chattering with my friend, Fiona, exchanging stories of our childhood, and giggling together, how funny it was, back almost 20 years ago (how time flies!) and how protective our dads were.  :)

Then suddenly she said,

"You know, I'm certain, everything they did were for our own good. That's for sure."
"Yup, I know." 

"When your father is old and isn't strong anymore like mine, when he unable to talk and express things like he used to be, you will miss those moments. I guarantee, you will."

I looked at her. There was sadness in her eyes.

I know what she meant. Well, I already miss him. :(

When the time comes, maybe I'm the one not letting go. :(

This Is Why Paediatrics Is Not My Thing..

Today is my first day at the neonatal unit. After the ward round, I went downstairs to the special care unit for neonates. The first time I went in, I found that the situation is very different. Instead of beds and large monitors we usually see in ICU for adults, things are much more . . .  tiny here. I can see lots of cubicles here and there, with little monitors besides them. There are few women, sitting at the chair, looking sadly at the cubicles which contained their precious little ones. 

I headed to the centre of the room, where the nurses put all the medical charts of the patients here. My eyes caught the file that I'm looking for, a very interesting case I would say. A baby with Patau Syndrome, quite a rare disease, a very depressing one. Babies with Patau Syndrome do not only have congenital cardiac defect, cleft palate, polydactyly (got more than five fingers on one hand) and several other physical disabilities, but they also suffer from mental retardation and the life expectancy is also shorter.  From discussion with one of the doctors there, I came to know a more heart-breaking fact, that the baby is actually an IVF baby, which means the parents are very keen to have him. I decided to just watch them from far because it is too painful to even trying to put myself in their shoes. I just pray may Allah keep them strong.

Not willing to stay long in that area, I followed a doctor to see him do cannulation (putting a line to the vein for drug/fluid induction) to a baby. Since that the vein is very small, it was very hard for him to do it. They tried a few times but still couldn't get it right. 

Part of me was screaming, "Leave the baby alone!"

Another part was trying to rationalize things, "That's for his own good."

The baby was traumatize i guess since he pulled his leg away once my fingers set on it. Poor little thing! T_T

After wondering around, watching and observing each baby, I finally decided to leave. Emotionally challenged, emotionally drained. That's why being a paediatrician has never cross my mind. 

*sigh* 

Got to be emotionally strong tomorrow. A long day awaits. 

Please get better little ones. I can't stand watching more and more of you here.

Cause after all those wings will take you up so high..

Chase your dreams

And remember me, sweet bravery

Cause after all those wings will take you up so high...

So bid the forest floor good-bye as you race the wind and

Take to the sky...

Believe in yourself.

And keep pushing to the limit.

Its not gonna be easy, 

But sure its gonna be worth it.

:)

A distant prayer. :)

This is what an Irish friend of mine send to me when she knows that I'm having a presentation tomorrow. ^^ Semangat bagi support. Thanks dear. :)

We always have good times sharing and discussing on Muslims and Catholic.

May Allah gives her hidayah one day, amin.

Now, need to get back to work.

Bismillahi tawakkaltu a'lallah.

May Allah ease. :)

For I Cannot Weaken If He Is With Me..

Sometimes I do feel lonely, even when I have everyone around me.

Sometimes I do feel exhausted when I had actually done nothing.

Sometimes I do feel like drowning.

Drowning in my own self, like a fish drown in an open sea.

Then I realise something.

I realise I need a cure, even when I'm not physically sick.

No, it's not the body. It's the soul.

And I realise, no one can save me. 

No one but Him.

Then He gave me a present.

It's Muharam.

Another good strong reason to keep the positive changes for a better me.

And alhamdulillah, it comes in winter.

Longer quieter nights to be closer to Him.

To become a faithful lover,

Who had been longing the love of her Creator.

Yes, its Muharam.

Another year of hopes and dreams.

May this year comes with greater blessings.

May each day pass, and the closer I'll be.

For I cannot weaken if He is with me.

L.O.V.E

Love ~

One of the greatest wonders in life.

Sometimes when we are so in 'love', we can become so consumed and lost in it that it is so hard to see which one is true and which one is false, which one is permissible or which one is forbidden. Being around someone you 'love' can make the whole world disappears, and suddenly everything is all about him (her). 

The question is, is it wrong?

No it's not, coz humans are created with desires to love and to be loved.

It will become wrong and illegal, when this love replaced the Lord of the love Himself.

When it is so hard to distinguish between real love and hawa (own vain desires), ask yourselves. 

Is being with this person that I 'love' brings me closer to Allah?

Or did he (she) had actually replaced Him in your heart?

True love makes you a better slave to Him.

Love of hawa makes you a better slave to him (her).

"Real love brings about calm - not inner torment. 

True love allows you to be at peace with yourselves and with God. 

That is why Allah says: "that you may dwell in tranquility." (30:21) 

Hawa is the opposite." 

Yasmin Mogahed.

For those whose love keeps them away from Allah, its time to break free from the prison of your own making. Yes, its hard, but Allah will never test us with something beyond our capability.

And for those who had found the real love, treasure well this blessing from Him, 

and use it well to strengthen your relationship with Allah. 

May He granted us with true love which will raise our iman, that will make us love Him even more with each passing day.

Amin ya rabb. :)

Yakinlah..

Kalau kita nak buat benda baik, memang besar ujian Allah bagi. 

Apatah lagi kalau niat kita buat benda tu untuk tegakkan agama Allah, 

untuk kukuhkan perjuangan di jalan Allah.

Lagi la syaitan kuat menguji. 

Kenapa? 

Mana mungkin musuh Allah (syaitan) akan duduk senang 

bila ada usaha yang kerana-Nya untuk tegakkan Islam semula. 

Jadi kalau kita ditimpa ujian, yakinlah. 

Yakinlah pada Dia. 

Dia yang memberi ujian, senang saja Dia mudahkannya. 

Dia yang menguji dengan kesusahan dan kesukaran, senang saja ditarik-Nya. 

Yakinlah pada Dia. 

Dan berdoalah.

Jaga hubungan dengan Allah.

Mana mungkin hamba yang benar-benar ikhlas berdoa,

Yang dia benar mencintai Allah,

Dan Allah juga mencintainya,

Dibiarkan permintaannya begitu sahaja.

Andai tidak dikabulkan,

insyaAllah perancangan yang lebih baik telah Allah sediakan.

Yakinlah.

Ibu Mithali :)

Video Kak Zue mengajar Darwisy baca Al-Quran. :)
Klik sini.
So inspiring and loving.
Ibu mithali~
I wish I can be like her.
Or may be even better. Amin.

May Allah bless you Kak Zue.
May Darwish and Ulwan be the soleh sons that will always care for you. :)
Amin.

The two soleh boys, Darwisy and Ulwan. :)

The Pearl~

Siapa kata Islam mengongkong wanita?

Siapa kata Islam haramkan hiburan?

Siapa kata Islam haramkan wanita berhibur?

Siapa kata Islam halang wanita melawa?

Islam tak pernah larang. Islam tak pernah halang. Cuma ada syarat-syarat dan kondisinya.

Bukan untuk mengongkong, apatah lagi mengharamkan.

Semuanya demi menjaga maruah wanita, dan meninggikan martabat mereka.

Semua wanita lawa, tapi kalau nak melawa biarlah pada tempatnya. :)

Ladies Night datang lagi dengan tema 'The Pearl', sebagai alternatif untuk muslimah berhibur. Alhamdulillah, everything went well and smooth. :) Congratez committees for the wonderful event! Caaaantik semua orang malam ni. ;)

Yeay! Siap pun tiga biji kek for the night. :)

Carrot Cake, Moist Chocolate Cake and Red Velvet Cake.

Alhamdulillah, they enjoyed it. :)

Got this wonderful roses from dearest sister. Jazakillah khyr dear. :)

Love it sooo much! Indeed, love is in the air!

(Dapat Ferrero Rocher jugak tapi dah lesap :P )

Kesimpulan: 

Tak salah nak berhibur, tapi biarlah kena caranya.

Tak salah nak melawa, tapi biarlah pada tempatnya.

"Sebaik-baik wanita adalah wanita solehah" 

:)

Teori vs Amali

"Ok, here's the situation. This is a man, unconscious, found by a pedestrian, collapse at the side of the road. You are a team of four. How would you manage this patient? Work it out now."

Kami saling berpandangan. Kemudian mata masing-masing terarah ke manikin di atas katil. Segala machine dan monitor semuanya di sebelah katil. Err, tak ada info lain ke? Dia ada any medical condition ke tak? Patient ni collapse involve system apa? Cardio ke? Respi ke? Atau neuro ke?

Masing-masing membatu.

Blurr!

"Come on guys! He's dying~"

Dengar perkataan 'dying' tu barulah masing-masing kalut.

Nak buat apa dulu ni? 

Cek airway? Cek breathing? Ke nak cek pulse? Blood pressure?

Segala yang pernah belajar semua berterabur dan berserabut.

Itu baru manikin. Kalau dapat patient betul, silap-silap dah innnalillah dah.

Esh, tahun depan dah nak final year. Tak competent lagi aku nih.

Teori kemain terer, bab amali kantoi.

Masa tu terfikir, segala ilmu yang dipelajari selama ni.

Macam mana amalinya? Setiap ilmu yang bermanfaat, pasti akan membawa kita lebih dekat kepada-Nya.

Adakah kita lebih mendekati Pencipta dari sebelumnya?

Dulu masa Form 1 selalu hafal pepatah Arab.

"Ilmu tanpa amal, ibarat pohon tanpa buah."

Tapi sekarang baru nak terasa kan. Haila sakinah.

Jom! 

There's no time to waste.

Lets become a successful competent muslim doctor! ;)

-a doctor for ummah in the making, insyaAllah-

Kuasa Cinta

15.10.2013

Nak pergi ke tak? Nak pergi ke tak? Solat raya jam 8 pagi. Kelas yang bermula awal, dengan jarak kampus yang agak jauh dari rumah membuatkan aku masih berkira-kira, bimbang kelewatan. Tapi kalau tak pergi terasa sangat rugi, memandangkan solat sunat raya hanya setahun sekali. Selepas berfikir-fikir aku tekad. Kena jugak solat raya berjemaah walau apa pun. Walaupun kekalutan di pagi raya, Alhamdulillah rasa sangat bersyukur, dapat solat berjemaah bersama dan mendengar khutbah yang sangat best. :)

Khutbah yang dibaca mengisahkan pengorbanan Ibrahim dan Ismail. Simple. Tapi kupasannya sangat menyentuh hati. Betapa beratnya ujian yang Allah berikan kepada nabi Allah Ibrahim, apabila anak yang selama ini dinanti kelahirannya, yang ditatang dengan penuh kasih sayang, diperintahkan Allah untuk disembelih. Walaupun ujian itu sungguh berat, namun Ibrahim tidak pula meminta untuk dipinda perintah itu ke dalam bentuk yang lain ataupun sekurang-kurangnya diringankan ujian itu, dan Ismail pula 'instead of' merayu supaya dilepaskan, menyuruh pula bapanya Ibrahim melaksanakan perintah Tuhan. Kuasa apa yang memberi mereka kekuatan untuk menghadapi ujian itu?

Itulah kuasa cinta.

Cinta yang mutlak kepada Allah, Sang Pencipta dan bukannya kepada keluarga dan anak pinak. MasyaAllah, terdetik dalam hati, mampukah aku?

Bercakap tentang cinta, mengapa begitu susah untuk benar-benar mencinta-Nya? Lebih susah - sungguh, jauh lebih susah daripada mencintai makhluk bernama manusia. Hingga kadang cinta kepada manusia itu melebihi cinta kepada pencipta manusia itu sendiri. Ramai antara kita yang berusaha bersungguh-sungguh untuk berjaya di dunia, demi menggembirakan hati-hati insan tersayang. Jika begitu bersungguh kita berusaha untuk membahagiakan manusia, apa pula usaha kita untk menggembirakan Sang Pencipta?

Memang, mencintai Allah itu susah lagi payah, kerana cinta itu terlalu mahal, dan memerlukan 'bayaran' yang mahal juga. Itulah cinta yang membuka segala cinta, menuntut seribu satu pengorbanan, demi kebahagiaan yang bukan setakat di dunia, malah insyaAllah membawa ke syurga sana.

Contohilah cinta Ibrahim dan Ismail, cinta kepada Allah, membawa kepada cinta yang lebih kukuh antara mereka. 

Ya Allah kurniakanlah aku cintaMu, 

Kurniakanlah aku cinta orang yang mencintaiMu,

Dan kurniakanlah cinta apa sahaja yang menghadirkan cintaku kepadaMu, 

kerana cintaMu lebih kudambakan daripada seteguk air.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidul Adha dari bumi Shamrock.

Taqabbalallahu minna wa minkum. :)